💌 Love Letters
No. 93 - Notes to yourself, from, and to others
Welcome to Style / Substance – Your weekly dose of personal style and confidence + analyzing the cultural influence of aesthetics and the psychology of what you wear and how you show up.
Here to make your life easier and help you present your best self, inside and out. If you enjoyed this week’s post, please tap the ❤️ above – I sincerely appreciate your support!
When was the last time you said “I love you” to yourself?
Have you actually ever said it to yourself? Maybe this sounds silly, but go with me here.
My close friend mailed me a short and sweet note this past year, and on the other side of it was this printed prompt:
I had to pause and really think about how I’d answer the question on this little card. I wasn’t entirely sure. I was a little startled that I wasn’t the first person on my mental list.
This reminder now sits on my desk, visible daily. It’s also how I start my days. I literally wake up and in my mind or even sometimes out loud, I tell myself “I love you, Laura” as I take my right hand and hold it against my heart. It takes less than two seconds to do this—I know that because I just timed it.
If you’re still with me, good for you; there’s more to this concept.
Handwritten notes to others are beneficial for numerous reasons: they’re personal and sincere, and it takes conscientious time to sit, think, and draft the words. Research tells us that writing these notes is an act of gratitude, but it can be an underestimated form of expression that some people assume would be awkward until they actually write the note.
Personal notes show effort and thoughtfulness, making the recipient feel valued and seen.
Love is giving witness to someone and their life. It’s to notice them. To truly see them.
A written note is an act of love. Love isn’t all romantic. Written notes are also a gift to the giver. Which in turn means it’s an act of love to yourself when you’re writing a note to someone else, too.
Just like I tell myself ILY, I also write myself notes. I call them “Love Letters.” And they’re kind words directly from people in my life. Pulled from texts, emails, DMs, or even a quick comment in an interaction. When this happens, I go back to my office, pull out a notecard, and write down what they said with the date on the card.
These are loving, generous, encouraging, and thoughtful comments from people I admire, respect, trust, and appreciate. People who I love.
They’re also notes from people with whom I have the pleasure of working in my professional world. It could be a comment from a client whose day or even year was impacted positively by our work together. It could be from you, having felt so moved by one of my newsletters, or someone I met for the first time ever who sat patiently listening to me to present my research and insights that felt so seen in my words.
I write these messages down on little notecards. I store them in a box. And at the end of the year, or rather, the start of a new year, I sit down with a cup of tea, open each one, and read them.
This is precisely what I did last weekend. I re-read the acts of love through words that people have generously shared with me over the past year. I do this because the start of the year is so consumed by reset that I want to make sure I am checking in with myself and these meaningful moments that make up the sum of the year. This is one of the ways I do that. They’re reminders of what I’m capable of. Who I am fortunate enough to be seen by. And how they’re seeing me.
In fairness, I’ll occasionally open these throughout the year if I’m having a hard day or week. If you have self-doubt or feel fully depleted, open up one of these cards in your own Love Letters box; they certainly help pull you out of it.
I even have a folder in my email for when I can’t get to my LL notecard box, and I want to save a note from someone or jot down what someone just shared with me so I don’t forget. However, I make sure that when I get home, I write it down because research tells us that we ascertain information when we write it down on paper with a pen/pencil.
Handwriting (versus typing) lights up and connects more parts of the brain, including memory association. That means that when I write down these kind comments, I remember them and, in turn, believe them. It helps to cultivate a mindset of generosity and belief in myself. It’s another way that I say ILY.
📲 Know someone who would enjoy this newsletter? Style is for all. Spread the love and share with them.
📝 For Your Stationery Restocks
If you’re writing your own “Love Letters” or sending a card to someone, here are my favorite resources for paper goods:
Papier Wavy Notecards + Scallop Shell Notecards
Cheree Berry Paper Ticker Tape Thank You Stationery
Dear Annabelle Gratitude Notecards + Love Letter Notecards
Alissa Bell The Palermo, Personalize
Minted Bold Border, Personalize
Modern Pink Paper Store Monogram Stationery Set, Personalize
Rifle Paper Co. Letter Writing Set
Carlton Cards Mini Notecards Earth Tones
Purple Q Crafts Mini Colorful Cards + Envelopes
Cara P. Designs Colorful Sets for Kids, Personalize
Read / Watch / Listen
📖 How to Dress Like a Gentleman — Author Elliot Ackerman shares his sartorial values, with which I agree, about the importance of being a well-kempt man in our culture in a recent piece from The Free Press. Through my practice and research philosophy of Style ≠ Fashion, Ackerman astutely emphasizes this point: “Fashion is temporary. Style is permanent.”
📺 The (M) Factor — My brain is steeped in “Women’s Brain Health” thanks to my current graduate class. The researcher in me is looking to culture to see how women’s health, particularly menopause, is living out its golden age and continuing to reach the masses. Watched this documentary last week that articulates the big M with a ton of data behind it. I’m going to rewatch it with my husband this month because menopause impacts us all.
🎧 Addiction Economy — A reminder that we should all be paying attention to what’s taking up so much of our attention. Scott Galloway is a thinker, and sometimes he drives me a little nutty, but this one sticks. You can listen to it here, read by George Hahn, who has the smoothest voice. Consider turning it on next time you go for a walk or you’re in the car.
Three More Things
✍🏻 The BEST pen — My biased opinion on writing utensils has this fine-point gel at the top.
📬 Stick ‘em with love — USPS’s 2025 Love stamp is officially available. It features an artful drawing from 1985 that’s sure to make a statement on your next envelope.
💐 SLAM’s Art in Bloom is returning for its annual festival on February 28 - March 2. With the blooms-filled Preview Party kicking off the weekend on Thursday, February 27! Grab a friend and put on something floral-inspired. As you may know, I’m a board member at the museum, and this is my favorite annual event in STL. Get your tickets below…
